Jack Bauer, covertly known as actor Kiefer Sutherland, from the smash hit TV series "24" needs to be the next President of the United States of America.
You see, Jack is a no-nonsense type of guy. If some military commander came to him with a dumb plan to invade some troubling Middle Eastern country Jack would set him straight. He'd order DOUBLE the firepower and he would only send in his most elite troops. Jack would give them the power to do whatever they wanted, make whatever deals they wanted and then, in an instant, back-stab and double cross anybody they were dealing with - so long as it wasn't him. You don't double-cross Jack. Not if you value your life, that is.
Jack is the ONLY guy who knows what is really going on in the covert world of espionage and counter-espionage and terrorism and counter terrorism. So, who better could you have running the most powerful country in the world? It just makes sense.
The CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit) could be shifted to the Oval Office so that Jack could keep tabs on the entire operation personally. That would severely limit the actions of double agents and what better place to HAVE a double agent (if you had to have one) - right there in the hub of the action - the White House!
Retribution against double agents would be swift. No investigation, no trial and, best of all - no witnesses. President Jack would just call them into one of the ante-rooms and beat the living be-Jesus out of them. After all, White House staffers and cleaners are probably used to strange noises coming from certain secluded rooms. And Jack could always leave a cigar strategically placed just to throw any would-be snoops off the scent.
Could you imagine the likes of Kim Yong Il sitting across the table from President Jack and NOT negotiating? Duh! That would be a no-brainer. Jack would simply launch himself across at his adversary and perform weird torture techniques with his Presidential pen or tiepin until he got the answer that he wanted. In his best gruff whisper: "You-will-NOT- launch-those-nuclear-warheads-on-Japan! Nod your head if you don't want to lose that other ear."
After getting an enthusiastic nod Jack would then send Mr Il to the best US plastic surgeons to have all his finer parts re-attached. That would be regarded as an act of goodwill and international diplomacy thereby fostering greater co-operation and improved foreign relations between the US and North Korea.
Jack could marry long-suffering CTU agent Chloe and make her his First Lady. That would be a strategic alliance. First Lady Chloe Bauer could use all her keyboard skills to keep track of the Commander-in-Chief's every move minus, of course, the er... cigar room. Shhh.
As President Jack, the ubiquitous Mr Bauer would COMMAND respect. He would put the command back into Commander in Chief. Even his Joint Chiefs of Staff and most senior advisers would not dare to question his judgement. They know that Jack would kill them if they did. And who's gonna send a guy like this to jail? No jail can hold him and no threat can intimidate him. Besides all the witnesses are always looking the other way. And they suffer from sporadic deafness.
But, more that anything else, the REAL reason that Jack Bauer should become President of the United States... he could stop whispering 100 times in every twenty four hour period: "Mister President... the situation is critical." You see he would BE the damn President. He would feel silly whispering that to himself.
Yes, Jack Bauer for President. It wouldn't be the first time that an actor stepped up to take the most powerful job in the world.
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